Psalm 42

Bonfire. Bonding. Bibles.

Bonfire.

I had already started brainstorming this blog while I was writing my previous blog, Positive Vibes, and so this blog is sort of a continuation of the last.

A week ago today, I was visiting my hometown, Orlando, Florida, and I was happy (to say the least) that I was finally able to attend the GT Young Adults Womens Bible Study Group that gathers every Thursday. The bible study group was meeting at Pastor Bri's house later that evening around a bonfire despite the fact that it was about 80 degrees outside - if only Florida decided to participate in fall weather. #wishfulthinking

Pastor Bri who leads the group has been a mentor of mine the past year or so and her heart for people and God is genuinely beautiful (appreciation statement) and she makes me question my own heart sometimes. I was able to spend some one-on-one time with her prior to the bible study with the girls. We were able to catch up on life and I was excited to update her on my business venture, The Bridal Binder. Discussing my vision, motive and passion for this business, she decided to dig deeper. This woman thinks she chisels her way in but no she explodes the bomb and everything is poured out on the floor, with good intentions. She breaks the barrier when you least expect it but at times when you need it the most.

Bonding.

The girls started to arrive and so everyone made their way outside around the fire. There were about 4 of us having a time of fellowship while we waited on a few other girls to arrive. Within 10-15 minutes 11 of us were around the fire, having to get more chairs from inside. I was happy to see old faces but grateful to see new faces as well. To be honest, I had never actually been a part of a bible study before this night due to my work schedule between the office and teaching dance in the past so I was nervous. I didn't know how this would go or what would be discussed - would we laugh, would we cry?

Pastor Bri opened up with everyone going around and sharing something positive. Now, I am not a public speaker. Ask me to perform a dance solo in front of a crowd and I'm in, but speaking in front of others scares me, even if it was only 11 of us - a barrier was being broken. A few girls shared their positive encounters and I knew Pastor Bri would call on me to share eventually (not having a choice) so I courageously took it upon myself to speak up. I shared the fact that I was starting a business and everyone excitedly began asking questions - what type of business? what made you start this business? With every question, a part of me worried about what others thought of my answer but the other part of me was proud and confident.

Yes, it's silly of me to think people are going to frown upon my business and this leap of faith I have taken but I have always been "that" person who cares what others think of me. Slowly this is fading and I am growing to be more independent and confident in who I am.

I find it when you talk out loud about what's going on in your life it helps distress those feelings - whether you talk out loud with God or with friends. Bonding with these women of God last Thursday was inspirational. Thursday night we were able to discuss our personal feelings and emotions in a judgement free zone and having that bond of just trust and encouragement reassured me that I am not alone.

I have many people on my side as I pursue The Bridal Binder.

I am so thankful to have those people in my life.

Bibles.

Pastor Bri began reading Psalm 42 and we began to dig deeper into the passage. In my last blog I mentioned part of Psalm 42 that has been tugging on my heart since this bible study:

Why am I discouraged?

Why is my heart so sad?

I will put my hope in God!

I will praise him again-

Verse 5 hit me. Even though I had been in a good place for a while, when I am in a dark place I seem to always ask the question -- But Why? I could relate to this verse in the sense that I question the reason why I feel the way I do at times but I interpreted this verse (and yes I even spoke up in bible study) - this verse is a reminder that yes, I may feel discouraged or sad but I have to remember that God has His healing hand on me and will walk me through the discouragement and through the sadness - I WILL put my hope in God again.

Jump to verse 8:

But each day the Lord pours His unfailing love upon me,

Another reminder that I am not alone. Other women shared their thoughts on different verses as well. The tears and laughs continued and in the back of my mind I continued to think about The Bridal Binder. Will I find myself discouraged if I don't get clients right away? Yes. Will I be sad if this doesn't play out the way I want it to? Yes. I've already had so many emotions already and I haven't even launched it to the public yet. BUT I do know I will have God walking alongside me, getting me through those emotions. I know it's going to be hard but the reward and PRAISE is absolutely worth it.

Leaving the bible study I felt so refreshed and wish I could honestly attend every week but Miami is too much of a stretch to drive. I want to find a bible study here in the Miami area (maybe even start my own) in hopes to to connect with other young adult women in South Florida.

I encourage you to read Psalm 42 and even go into Psalm 43.

Don't be discouraged to open your bible.

Take time to talk with God and pray.

Side Note - I'm hoping to launch The Bridal Binder the beginning of 2019.

LAURA ANN KIEL